It was only ten months ago that I had to go talk to my pastor. Life was hard, emotional, heartbreaking and difficult. Feeling overwhelmed and left with many questions, I knew it was time. Now I do realize talking about hurt and loss couldn’t be fixed by a simple conversation. But what I did know was that I would be given tid bits of advice, Bible passages, encouraging words and stories to try to help me along my way to healing. But I left with even more than just that.
Have you ever heard the song “Blue Christmas”? My mind inevitably goes to Elvis singing on the radio the lyrics to this song. For me, he’s the only artist who has this song down pat. Do you ever have little bits of your very young childhood that you can easily recall? I can remember listening to this song, half falling asleep in the back seat of our little blue Elantra, on the way home late one evening after Christmas shopping at the Valley Mall. I was quite young at the time, but it always rings familiar to me.
Are you missing someone this Christmas? Maybe the loss of a family member or a close friend? Perhaps a relationship in life isn’t going so well and the lack of reconciliation has your heart hurting in ways it didn’t feel last Christmas? Possibly someone you deeply love can't be with you for the holidays? Does it make it hard to face the holidays with a smiling face and joyful heart?
I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone.
While I have had many many many events to rejoice this year, some have not been so happy. And it makes the holiday seem a bit blue some days. I can’t take the hurt away from you, goodness I sure wish I could though. But what I can do is offer you two pieces of my insight and heart:
Remember the reason that we are celebrating. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. I love cookie baking and Christmas music as much as the next person, but we can't let all those little holiday traditions overtake the ultimate reason. Don’t be afraid to take time for yourself (I am my own worst enemy at this, so I already have to call myself out on this one – life is busy and fast paced. I fall victim of it as well). We are celebrating the birth of Jesus and the reason why we are celebrating this birth is because Jesus walked on this Earth before and He will once again come back and take away hurt and pain - one day it will all be wiped away (this is where HOPE comes in!). If we didn’t experience these emotions, it wouldn’t have been necessary for a Son of God to be born and therefore, Christmas wouldn’t even be a holiday we would know. If you need to take a break, walk away, sit quietly, just to remind yourself of this - go for it! I will back you up 110%. Sip that hot chocolate, pull open that Bible and just rest in His words and promises.
Something that my pastor said to me has resonated more than anything else that Friday afternoon that I sat in his office. Knowing that the situation couldn’t be changed in a short visit and there was going to be a large ripple effect that was going to take place, he ended our conversation with prayer but he also asked me a question. His question to me was this (and I paraphrase) “how can our family journey with you?” It wasn’t countless scenarios to try to solve the situation, it wasn’t "sure hope this helped", and send me on my way and it certainly wasn't "I'm not even interested in getting involved in this". Some things in life can't be fixed by a simple solution. Relationships, missing loved ones that have passed, important people in our lives being absent on Christmas Day- it can't just be "fixed". Some things take God working on our hearts and I think we can all agree, it doesn't happen over night (there's a reason why that's such a cliche statement, because it's SO true!). So what do we do while time is being taken? We lean on one another. We share stories. We check in on each other. We send a word of encouragement. We let people know they're not alone. We use our God given gifts and talents to help someone feeling lost, lonely and sad. We journey with one another.
For me, having someone that "gets it" and truly "understands" makes my heart sing. Having an introverted, sensitive heart is no easy task in a harsh world, but having someone share their story and tell me that my emotions are the same that they went through means more than they'd ever know. But the good news is, we can journey with someone even if we don't fully understand their hurts and scenario. We can be that listening ear to a hurting heart, we can be there when needs arise with a joyful heart, we can open eyes to new possibilities and how to embrace the moment we're in, despite the pain it may be causing.
Is there someone you can journey with this holiday season? How about someone you can check in on as a new year begins? If you feel as though you need someone to journey with you, please reach out. Whether it be to me or to someone else. I promise you, that ultimately, Jesus is walking this journey with you. But Jesus can also bring someone into your life to walk right along side you here on this Earth. And I can personally tell you, especially from a very recent experience for myself, it's ok to share your story with someone. You might even learn something about the person you're talking to. And something very unexpected may just take place. It happened to me and I looked up and thanked God because I knew He put me in the place I'm at for a very special reason. If you need to share a story, please feel free to share with me. If you need to share the hurt on your heart, I'm here.
Let's check in on our friends, coworkers and loved ones, so no one has to experience a blue Christmas this year. Remind them of the goodness of the season and the promises it brings. And don't forget to ask, "How can I journey with you?"
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